Dependent
by simplemusings12
Summary: Rick and Lori had taken his little sister in after their parents died when she was nine years old. After the virus broke out, Allesandra fled King's County to the mountains with Rick's best friend Shane, her sister-in-law Lori, and her nephew Carl. This is her story.
1. Chapter 1

**If the long author's note intimidates you, just skip to the story. I'm sure you'll figure it out. But, if you want to know the inspiration behind this story, read the note below. **

**A/N: One of these days, I'll write a story that's not similar to the same theme as all of my other ones. But for now, you're going to have to deal with it. :)**

**This is set during Season 1… and will definitely be AU, in which Shane doesn't go crazy (or die). Most of the story will be my own events that take place, but I will still be following some of the story line from the TV show. **

**If you have read my profile, you'll know that I'm majoring in Developmental Psychology. Right now we're studying attachment styles in detail and that's really where I got the idea from this story.**

**Just think with me for a second: you're a teenage girl… imagine your best friend and big brother getting shot and thus being in a coma indefinitely, with the end of the world happening after that, and now you're constantly running for your life. People that you know and are close to around you are dying and there's nothing you can do to stop it. **

**According to Developmental Psychology and the different attachment theories, someone with a "secure attachment" to her parent or caregiver would be what some people would call "clingy." The key is that, even though this person is practically attached to her caregivers hip, he/she is still able to branch out and start exploring the environment on his/her own when he/she feels comfortable to do so.**

**If the end of the world happened, the clingy-ness would be a lot worse. I promise you that much. **

**Don't believe me about what I said about? Check out Harlow's study on the Rhesus monkeys. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TWD. Also, if you're in to tons of gore, strong language, and sexual content, this story is probably not for you. Even though TWD is like that, I've made this story a little bit calmer and family-friendly.**

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Introduction:

"_He asked me!" I exclaimed, running into the house where I threw my backpack on the floor and went into the kitchen for a drink._

"_Who asked you?" my brother, Rick asked as he glanced up from where he was doing paperwork at the kitchen table. _

"_Jed." I replied, grabbing a glass from the cabinet. _

"_Jed who?" Shane, my brother's best friend and partner and my adopted "big brother" asked, setting down his pen and looking up at me. _

"_Jed Hatfield." I stated, pouring Lori's homemade sweet tea into a glass._

"_Carter Hatfield's little brother?" Rick asked, his voice raising ever so slightly. Well that seemed to have gotten his attention. _

"_Yeah. What about it?" I asked, sipping my sweet tea._

_Rick and Shane exchanged a look that I don't even know how to begin to describe. Worried… a little pissed maybe. This in turn made me a little concerned, because they apparently knew something that I didn't. _

"_You're not going." Rick stated, picking his pen back up and refocusing on his paperwork. _

"_What!?" I screeched. "And why not?" _

"_Look, Ally, we know Carter, and we know he's trouble. The apple don't fall far from the tree, so you're not going." Shane explained, turning back to his paperwork as well. I was not about to let this one go. _

"_But it's senior prom." I pleaded. "You know how often a junior girl gets asked to senior prom by a senior guy?" _

"_Too often." Rick replied, not glancing up from his work. _

"_But Rick, this is the break I've been waiting for!" I said, still pleading. I walked around the kitchen counter and sat down across from Shane and Rick at the table, trying my best to pull an innocent face and puppy eyes that only sometimes worked on them. _

"_And what break is that, exactly?" Shane said, sounding bored. "Losing your virginity, getting your heart broken, or both?" _

_Rick gave Shane a disapproving look before turning back to me. "Look, I know you're probably going to hate me for it, but you are not going to prom with Jed." I started to protest again but Rick cut me off. "And that' s final." He stated. _

I woke up in bed, gasping as I dreamed about the last conversation I had with my big brother, Rick. That was the day before he was shot and went into a coma, just days before _it _happened.

Even though that was a few weeks ago, I remember that day like it happened yesterday.

_I walked out of the school doors at the end of the day next to Jed. I looked up and immediately spotted Shane, who had a look on his face like something awful had just happened. At first I thought that he was upset because I was with Jed, so I said goodbye to him and walked cautiously over to Shane. _

"_What happened?" I asked when I reached him, automatically looking in the front seat of the cruiser to see if Rick was there, and after seeing that he wasn't, I began to worry even more. Silence met my ears, as I watched Shane wrestle with the best way to tell me what happened. A few seconds later he stepped up so he was close to me and put his hand on my shoulder. _

"_There isn't any easy way to tell you this, but… Rick's been shot. He's at the hospital." he said, softly. _

"_Oh my god." I said, my voice quivering. "Is he going to be okay?" _

_Shane didn't say anything, but he opened the passenger door for me and I clambered inside. That was the moment I knew that things were going to be far from okay._

Now, a few weeks later, I'm still arguing with Shane. Not about the same thing, of course, but we had really grown apart after Rick got shot. We had formed a group with other survivors of the virus and were currently a couple miles outside of Atlanta, hiding away in the mountains.

I was trying to convince Shane to let me go to Atlanta for supplies with the others, but he wasn't having any of it, saying things like "it's too dangerous" and "you'll get yourself killed" and all this other stuff that he's been saying to me since I can remember. You see, I'm kind of reckless… the kind of person to take a lot of risks.

Shane almost literally had to hold me back when the rest of the group left. Every day I had been practicing, exercising, building my strength so that I had a better chance of survival against the walkers. I guess Shane still wasn't satisfied with how far I had come in the past few weeks.

I watched as they drove away. My emotions betrayed me as a few angry tears slipped unheeded down my face. I glared at Shane and stormed off towards the lake, intent of dealing with my thoughts and emotions alone.

"Where are you going, young lady?" Shane said in a dangerous tone. I ignored him and kept walking, too pissed to care.

I heard him huff in annoyance as he walked after me. I quickened my pace as I tried to stay ahead of him, even though I knew that it would be in vain.

"Alessandra Nicole!" Shane called after me. I knew I was in trouble. He only uses my full name when I did something really wrong.

"What?!" I yelled, assuming a defensive stance by crossing my arms over my chest and planting my feet on the ground.

"You know what." he said. "Your attitude these past few weeks have been less than acceptable and it needs to change, now."

I set me jaw and glared at him. I knew he was right, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't annoying. I was speechless, which is unusual because that almost never happened. Quite honestly, I was tired of fighting with Shane.

Part of me missed him _so _much and needed him, but the other, larger part of me was still angry about what happened with Rick. I wasn't necessarily upset at Shane, but he, unfortunately, was the one that had to deal with my bitterness.

"Stop telling me what to do." I retorted as I tried to walk away again. Shane caught me by the arm and I tried to yank free, but couldn't. He grabbed my other wrist and spun me around, pinning my arms to my torso as my back was pinned against Shane.

"Let go of me!" I yelled, wiggling against him, trying to get free.

"Not until you listen to what I have to say." Shane said. I was no match for his strength. It seems that he was barely even making an effort to restrain me.

"I don't have to listen to you!" I argued, starting to wear out a little bit. "You're not my Dad, and you sure as hell ain't Rick!"

This seemed to stun Shane, so I used the opportunity to slip out from under his arms. I was almost free when he regained his bearings and caught me again, holding me a lot tighter to him this time.

I knew I had lost, so I stopped struggling, but I was still tense against him.

"I know you miss him, Ally. I know you miss him so much. But, you can't keep fighting Lori and me. While we both know that you're getting older, this world ain't the same anymore. You can't be doing reckless things. It's not safe." he told me, and it sounded like his heart was either broken or well on its way there. Gosh, I had been such a bitch.

The way that Shane said this, ever so gently, broke my heart to pieces. I knew that it had to frustrating for Lori and him that I was such a brat all the time. The only thing worse than seeing your mother cry was seeing a man cry, and while Shane wasn't exactly _crying_, hearing his broken voice was certainly close enough.

You see, my parents died when I was nine. Rick took me in then, no questions asked. He and Lori had been married for a few years, and Carl was a year old. It was then that Rick, Lori, Carl, and Shane became all that I had. Rick was almost old enough to be my Dad, and he basically filled that role after our parents died. He was the person to comfort me when nightmares plagued me for months after their death, the one who protected me, helped me, and was just always _there_ for me.

Shane was the person I went to if Rick and Lori and I were fighting. He was fiercely loyal to Rick, but he also understood what I was feeling and why I was so upset. The best part about Shane was that he never took sides between Rick and me, but rather gave us both advice on how we should either change our attitudes or learn to be more understanding of the other person.

Thinking about this gave me the realization that I had been making things worse for Shane and Lori, when I should have been helpful. I'm sure I could have used the comfort, too, but instead I pushed them away. I started sobbing with the unfortunate realization, and completely sagged in Shane's arms. The last thing I wanted to do was to make things worse, because they were already bad enough.

"I'm sorry." I said, choking on my sobs. "I've been such a brat these past few weeks, and I'm so, _so _sorry. I don't know what was wrong with me."

…and I was. I missed Rick more than I could bear sometimes, but sometimes I just needed Shane, and I've been missing out on that since Rick got shot, because after that happened, I grew very, _very _bitter. I was pissed at Shane because even though I knew it wasn't his fault, I wanted to blame someone… I guess that Shane was just that someone.

"Shhh," he said quietly, "I know, baby, I know. I miss him, too."

I relaxed in his arms, and for the first time since Rick was shot, I cried. I sobbed, releasing all the emotions that I bottled up inside of me. I started to feel better, and my anger at Shane started to lessen.

My knees gave out and I slid to the ground. Shane came with me, and I turned in his arms so that he was basically cradling me like a baby, my head resting by his heart.

"I've missed you, ya know." Shane said a little while later after I had calmed down to the occasional hiccup and sniffle.

"Me too." I whispered.

And just like that, it was as if nothing between Shane and me had ever happened.

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**A/N: Well, what did you think? If I get some good feedback, I'll post the next chapter in a couple days. (I have a bout five written)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: don't own it.**

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Chapter 1

I was just wrapping up one of my chores when I heard what sounded like a car alarm echoing across the mountains. I dropped my stuff and walked up to Shane, standing next to him.

"Glen, what the heck are you thinking?" I asked as he got out of a really nice car… and its alarm was still going off. "You're going to attract every walker in the area!" I yelled, starting to freak out a bit.

Yelling ensued. Beth kept screaming something about Andrea and Shane was yelling about turning the car alarm off and it seemed as if everyone else was yelling about something too but I don't know what their problem was.

"It wouldn't hurt you to think a little more carefully next time." Dale scolded.

"Sorry." Glen said, holding up a hand in defense. "Got a cool car." I bit back a smirk as it was just so _Glen _and so not appropriate for that moment. To be honest though, it did lighten the mood a little.

A few seconds later a moving truck came around the corner, with what I assumed was everyone else. We were all really glad that everyone was back, safe and sound, and it was always a joyful reunion when they returned. This world just isn't the same anymore, and it would be stupid to take any day that you had with your loved one for granted.

This is why people react the way they do when the group returns, and why everyone is a little clingy to their loved ones throughout the day. I always get a little teary eyed and bitter when reunions like this take place because it's another reminder that Rick isn't here anymore. It breaks my heart to see my nephew, Carl, cry every time this happens because I know he misses his Dad so much. I saw Lori take him aside to talk to him, and it was hard for me to watch.

I feel someone come stand next to me, and I instinctively knew that it was Shane. I looked up at him with teary eyes and leaned into him, letting him comfort me. I think he needed it, too.

"How did y'all get out of there anyway?" Shane asked, keeping one arm close around me.

"New guy. He got us out." Glen said, squinting at us in the bright Atlanta sunlight.

"New guy?" Shane asked. I furrowed my brow in curiosity.

"Hey helicopter boy, come say hello!" Morales called to the "new guy."

I turned my head and looked over to the moving truck and saw something that I thought that I was never going to see again for the rest of my life.

**Rick.**

My big brother, who means more than anything to me in the world, _was alive._

I let go of Shane and put both hands over my mouth, as I stood there, frozen in place, my eyes disbelieving what I saw. I made eye contact with Rick, and he started to tear up. He saw Shane, Lori, and Carl, and after taking a moment to catch his breath, he walked at a quickened pace to catch Carl who was now screaming "Dad" and sprinting in his direction.

I started crying, too. I looked at Shane with a happy, yet shocked expression on my face and I knew that he was feeling the same thing I was: confusion, surprise, but most importantly joy. I wrapped one arm around Shane's back as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and we both watched the reunion between Rick, Lori, and Carl.

A few minutes later after Rick let go of Lori and Carl, I took off in a sprint and jumped in his arms, somewhat resembling how Carl had just done the same thing few moments earlier. I bawled on his already-damp t-shirt and clung to him as I came to the full realization that he wasn't dead like I thought for so long.

"I love you." Rick said, as he pulled away from me, putting his hands on the side of my face, swiping at the stray tears with his thumbs.

"I thought you were dead." I cried as he pulled me back to his chest.

"I'm sorry." Rick said, his voice cracking slightly. "I kept trying to find a way back to you all, but I couldn't find my way."

"I'm just glad you're okay… I've missed you so much." I whispered. I felt Rick kiss the top of my head and them tell me that he missed me too.

I pulled away from Rick and watched as he went over to Shane and embraced him. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but they both kept glancing between Lori, Carl, and me so I'm thinking that Rick was thanking him for taking care of us. Shane nodded and teared up himself as he embraced Rick again.

Today was going to be a great day.

* * *

"Disoriented. I guess that comes closest. Disoriented." Rick said, explaining how he felt when he woke up in the hospital after the apocalypse began. "Fear, confusion, all those things, but disoriented comes closest."

Most of us were sitting around a smoldering fire and visiting with each other. We didn't want to make it too big because we didn't want to attract walkers, but big enough that it would generate some heat. The thing about Georgia is that is scalding hot during the day, but gets chilly at night. Even if it's 95 degrees at noon, you're still going to want to bring a jacket because it will be close to 60 at night.

I was sitting next to Shane even though I desperately wanted to be close to Rick right now. Unfortunately, Lori was on one side of him and Carl was on the other, so Shane will have to do for now. I leaned on him so my head was resting on his chest and held on to his arm that was wrapped around my slender shoulders.

If life was normal and the zombie apocalypse didn't happen, I would be one heck of a clingy teenager. I definitely was not before all this happened, but then Rick got shot and the whole world went to hell… what I'm saying is that you learn to appreciate the things you do have. Shane is the only other person that has been in my life since I was born, so I automatically go to him, even before my sister-in-law.

"Words can be meager things. Sometimes they fall short." Dale said, setting his coffee mug on the ground in front of him.

"I felt like I had been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else. For a while I thought I was trapped in some coma-dream… something I might not wake up from… ever." Rick said, gazing into the fire.

Carl looked up at him from where he was currently positioned on Rick's lap, and said, "Mom said you died." so quietly I almost didn't hear him. I tensed at Carl's bluntness and was worried that Rick was going to get upset for a few moments before he looked at Lori reassuringly, giving her arm a gentle squeeze before looking down at Carl again.

"She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it." Rick said gently.

I saw Lori glance at Shane, and Shane look at Lori. Something was definitely going on between the two of them, but I just didn't know what. I looked up at Shane, and he must have noticed that I was catching on to something, and I felt him squeeze my hand, giving me a sort of sad, even regretful expression.

Lori talked about how the hospital had told her that they were going to Medevac Rick and the others patients to Atlanta, but they never got the chance. It's no surprise though… it didn't take long for the walkers to take over.

"I'm not surprised," Rick said. "From the looks of that hospital it got overrun."

"Yeah, looks don't deceive." Dale said.

"Yeah," Shane agreed. "I barely got them out… ya know." He tightened his grip on me and stared at the ground. I knew that this had been hard for him. I also knew that he felt responsible for not only me, but Lori and Carl too. He's all we had.

"I can't begin to express how grateful I am to you, Shane." Rick said sincerely, neither his voice nor his gaze wavering. "I can't begin to express it."

Shane's jaw tightened and I could tell that he was having a hard time dealing with the emotions. I think he felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off of him after Rick came back and even though he was relieved, he didn't know how to deal with the emotions he was suddenly feeling after repressing them for so long so that he could be strong for us.

"There go those words falling short again." Dale said with a knowing smile on his face.

Our sentimental moment was interrupted by the sound of Ed throwing another log onto the fire. Shane tensed and said, "Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?" that was phrased as a suggestion, but wasn't really meant to be a suggestion at all.

"It's cold, man." was Ed's short reply. God, he was such an asshole.

"Cold don't change the rules, does it?" Shane asked, glaring in Ed's direction. "We keep our fires low just at an ember so we can't be seen from a distance, right?"

"It's cold. Why don't you mind your own business, for once?" Ed mumbled, not even giving Shane the decency to look him in the eyes, or even towards him at all.

Now Shane was pissed. He got up and all but charged over to stand in front of Ed.

"Ed… you sure you want to have this conversation, man?" he said, his fingers twitching at his side stressfully. I didn't hear the rest of what happened, but I knew Shane won when he pulled the log out of the fire and rolled it around on the ground, effectively putting out the flames. I was proud at the way he kept his anger at bay.

Shane paused briefly to talk to Carol and Sophia before rejoining us, sitting behind me this time so that I was in between his legs. I leaned back against him and grabbed one of his arms and wrapped it around me, trying to use his body heat to help keep me warm.

"Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon? He's not going to be happy to hear his brother was left behind." Dale stated, directing it to Shane. _Oh boy, here we go… _I thought.

"I dropped the key. It's on me." T-Dog said regretfully.

"I cuffed him. That makes it mine." Rick chimed in.

"Guys, it's not a competition. I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy." Glen said, looking at T-Dog, trying to reason with him.

"I did what I did." T-Dog said. "Hell if I'm going to hide from him."

"We could lie." Amy suggested.

"We tell the truth." Andrea argued. "Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he would have gotten us all killed. Your husband did what was necessary." She said, directing the last statement to Lori. Even though the last comment wasn't needed, I know that Lori appreciated it. "And if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's."

"And that's what we tell Daryl?" Dale asked incredulously. "I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you? Word to the wise: we're going to have our hands full when he gets back from this hunt."

"I was scared, and I ran." T-Dog said. "I'm not ashamed of it."

"We were all scared. We all ran. What's your point?" Andrea asked.

"I stopped long enough to chain that door." T-Dog explained. "Staircase is narrow. Maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at any one time, but it's not enough to break through it. Not that chain. Not that padlock. My point: Dixon's alive, and he's still handcuffed up there on that roof. That's on us."

Well that's a new development in the story. Even though I hated Merle more than anyone in this camp, it doesn't mean that I want him to die from getting bit by a walker, or perhaps even worse: death from dehydration. I'm not going to lie: I was afraid for Merle. I looked around the circle and I knew that the rest of them were afraid for Merle too, and perhaps even regretted doing what they did.

Even though I agree with Andrea that it was necessary, I don't know how to react to the situation. I tugged on Shane's other arm and wrapped it around me, too, feeling scared. I looked at him, silently asking if everything was going to be okay. Shane knew me better than anyone, and I knew that he knew my silent fears. He nodded at me and gave me a gentle squeeze, helping ease my fears some.

It wasn't too long later that we all went to head to bed. It was then that I realized that, now that Rick was back, I didn't have a place to sleep. There's no way that the four of us can fit in that tent together, even if we wanted to.

Rick took notice of this and looked at Shane, silently asking him if I could stay with him.

"Allie, how about you get your stuff and put it in my tent. You can stay in there with me." Shane suggested, nodding to Rick.

I shrugged and started gathering up the few things I did have from their tent.

"Where are you going?" Carl asked sleepily. He was adorable all the time, but in my opinion, he got about ten times cuter when he was tired.

"Um… I'm going to go sleep in Shane's tent from now on since your Dad is back and there's more room in there. Is that okay, buddy?" I told Carl, kneeling next to his bed.

"I guess… I'll miss you, Aunt Ally." Carl said softly.

"I'll miss you too, Carl. But don't you worry, I'll be sure to say goodnight still, okay?" I said, smoothing some of the hair back from his forehead.

Carl nodded and closed his eyes. I bent down and gave him a kiss on the forehead, whispered that I loved him, and left to go to Shane's tent.

I had pulled off my shoes and was pulling the sheets up to my neck when I heard Rick outside the tent.

"Can I come in?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah." I said.

Rick ducked in and kneeled next to my bed and effectively tucked me in. I looked at him with tears in my eyes, and he looked back at me lovingly.

"I'm so glad I found you." he whispered.

"Me too." I replied as a single tear fell down the side of my face.

Rick brushed the tear away and smoothed the hair back from my face and gave me a long kiss on my forehead. God, I've missed him so much. I was suddenly very tired and felt myself drifting off with a smile on my face for the first time in perhaps a long time.

"I love you… to the moon and back." was the last thing I heard before I drifted off into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

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**A/N: Well, you want the next chapter or not?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's chapter three!**

**Disclaimer: I have an unhealthy addiction to the Walking Dead.**

Chapter 3

Later the next day I was down at the lake helping some of the women wash laundry. Ed was looking over our shoulders making sure that we were doing his laundry right while smoking a cigarette. Honestly, I hated the man. I hated him more than I hated Merle Dixon, and I hated Merle a lot. Anyone that beats his wife or daughter is a waste of space if you ask me.

"I tell you what," Andrea said, standing up in front of Ed, "if you don't like how your laundry is being done, you are welcome to pitch in and help do it yourself." She flung a pair of his jeans at him, and he flung it back just as hard, hitting her in the chest.

Basically what happened in the next few moments was that they were arguing about Ed and how he beats Carol, and everyone knew it too. I was starting to get really mad at how big of an asshole Ed is and how Carol just let him do it… so before I could stop myself I stood up and put myself right between Ed and the others and yelled in his face… pretty much. And honestly, I don't remember exactly what I said, but I know that it was something to the effect of: one, calling him and asshole; and two, telling him that if he was going to get to Carol again then he would have to get through me first.

Ed just laughed in my face and then grabbed me by my shirt and threw me face first into a large rock, knocking me unconscious.

Now, I'm not entirely sure what happened after that, but when I woke up, the women were huddled in a group a little ways away and Shane was looking down at me, looking quite worried yet extremely pissed off at the same time.

I tried to talk but my voice cracked, so I cleared my throat and tried again. "What happened?"

"Ed threw you and you hit your head off a rock. You didn't crack it open but you've got quite the goose egg there." Shane said, his eyes growing dangerously dark in righteous anger.

I looked at his face and could tell that there was something he wasn't telling me. "What else, Shane?" I asked, allowing him to help me sit up.

My vision and my head spun with this movement and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the spinning to stop. Shane noticed this, but he didn't do anything other than keep one hand on my arm and the other on my back where he was crouched next to me.

"I may have beat Ed up a little bit." Shane said, avoiding my gaze.

"What do you mean by a little bit?" I asked, not entirely surprised and strangely comforted that he did.

Shane pursed his lips and let his head drop before looking at me again. "I wouldn't have stopped if they didn't step in when they did." He said, motioning to the women who were back by the lake again.

"Oh," was all I said. To be honest, I wasn't upset at all about it. Ed was an asshole. He had it coming. It's about time someone knocked some sense into him.

Shane stood up and helped me stand up. I guess I hit my head pretty hard because any time I moved my head would spin uncontrollably.

"Here." Shane said before scooping me of the ground as if I weighed nothing. I was too tired to protest, so I wrapped my arms around his neck weakly and laid my head on his chest and breathed in the scent that was distinctly Shane… and even though he smells like sweat, it was the kind of smell that has come to become a comfort to me, even when I was at odds with him for a while.

Now, a lot of people don't like Shane because of his stubbornness and quick temper that sometimes gets the best of him. What they don't understand is that Shane hasn't always been like this. He's always been stubborn, but hasn't always had a temper. It was only after Rick got shot when Shane started to get easily angered.

"You're going to have a hard time hiding that bruise you got from Rick." Shane said simply. I was still getting used to the fact that Rick was indeed _alive_, and I loved it.

"I know." I said quietly. Rick was going to be pissed.

So he carried me to our tent and set me down on my sleeping bag. Since we didn't have ice, I would just have to rest and let it heal naturally, which would take a lot longer, unfortunately.

"Thanks, Shane." I said tiredly. Shane squeezed my shoulder in response and left as I went to sleep.

**THE WALKING DEAD**

I slept for a long time, because when I woke up it was dark outside and everyone was eating dinner. I walked out of the tent and sat down with the rest of the group and started dishing up my food.

"Oh my god." Amy said when she looked at me.

"Wha-" I started to say before I realized what they were talking about. "Oh, it's nothing. I'm fine." I said and gave them a small smile, trying to calm them down a bit.

"It's not nothing." Andrea chimed in. "He had no damn right."

I shrugged and plopped down next to Lori. The rest of the group looked downright pissed, and I was trying hard to ignore it. Yes, I'm upset that Ed threw me at a rock, but it wasn't entirely unprovoked either. I kept prodding the bull, and it charged. So therefore, it's partially my fault.

"Let me see." Lori said as she took hold of my chin gently and turned my face so it reflected in the firelight. She studied it for a moment and gently touched my forehead to see if I had a cracked skull… or that's what I'm assuming she was doing when she decided that poking my battered face was a good idea.

"Is it that bad?"

"Looks like you're gonna have a nasty bruise for a while, but you'll be fine." She said and then gave me a gentle kiss on my bruise.

Most of the time I wanted Rick… if I couldn't have Rick then I pretty much wanted Shane. If I didn't want Shane, then I wanted Lori. While she and I didn't always agree on everything, she always had my best interests in mind. She always took care of me like my own mother would, if she were still alive.

There's nothing that compares to a mother's gentle touch. Nothing. When I was sick, or hurting, or having girl problems, or injured, I always wanted Lori. There's just something about having a mother figure take care of you that made it easier than if it was a man.

I smiled at her, but that was all interrupted when we heard Amy scream. I whipped my head around and saw a walker bite her arm. Chaos ensued as everyone sprung into action, and I was having a difficult time keeping my panic at bay.

I grabbed my knife that I kept with me at all times and shoved it into the nearest walkers skull before ripping it out and repeating the motion on a different walker. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but there was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I just acted on pure instinct.

I was vaguely aware of Lori and Shane yelling my name, but I didn't listen. At one point I tripped on a root and fell, a walker falling on top of me. I screamed in terror as I used all my strength to keep it from taking a bite out of my face and was quite grateful when an arrow pierced its skull, effectively splattering blood all over my face and shirt.

_Daryl. _I thought. In my panicked state, the only thought that came to mind was getting away from there, and without thinking I ran into the woods. The next thought that occurred to me was that I might get lost, so I didn't want to go too far. I climbed the nearest tree, and was glad, too, because three walkers were suddenly at the base of the tree, trying to climb to get to me.

The gunshots stopped, and about ten seconds later I heard Rick and Shane calling my name. I probably scared them half to death. I started sobbing and was calling out for them and that there were walkers. Before I knew it, the walkers were dead and I was stuck in a tree.

"Come on, baby. You're okay." Rick soothed, holding his arms out towards me. I was maybe only fifteen feet in the air, so I took a deep breath and stated to climb down, being careful to not trip or miss a branch.

As soon as I got to the bottom, I was pulled into Rick's arms. I sobbed uncontrollably. I cried because I was terrified, I cried because people were killed, and I cried because no matter how much I wished they were, things were never going to be the same again.

Rick carried me back to camp, and he set me down on the ground. Carl rushed over and burrowed himself in between Rick and me. Lori stepped in a few moments later, and we all stood there as a family, hugging, crying, and trying to comfort each other.

A few minutes later I had finally mustered up the bravery to survey some of the damage, so I turned my head from where it was planted in Rick's chest and looked around. We lost people… too many people. God, there were so many bodies, and the worst part about it is that they were all people at some point in time. Every single one of the bodies that was littered on the ground represented a life lost. I gave Rick one more squeeze before pulling away and tried to take a deep, calming breath and my body tried to return to homeostasis.

Unfortunately, that breath I took was a little too deep. I suddenly felt nauseous, and ran to the nearest bush and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach. Lori was behind me in an instant, rubbing my back soothingly.

"Adrenaline dump, Ally. It's all right." She soothed, even though her voice cracked a few times from the tears she had been shedding herself.

She put her arm around me and helped me back to camp after I was done.

"Are you all right?" Rick asked when we walked up.

I nodded miserably and gave him another hug. The rest of the group that was still alive gathered around and Shane spoke.

"Look, none of us are going to be getting much sleep tonight. The women and kids should try to get a couple hours; the rest of us should start making sure that none of these are going to come back. Sound okay?" Shane said, his voice wavering slightly and his hands flexing over his gun.

"Are you going to come, too, Aunt Ally?" Carl asked softly, tugging on my sleeve, looking at me with tear-rimmed eyes.

"Not tonight, buddy." I said, kneeling down and pulling him into my arms. My heart broke for Carl. The poor kid had already gone through so much in his short life, and there's nothing that any of us could do about it.

"Try to not think about it so much, okay? You're all right." I soothed… more like, attempted to soothe. "I love you so much."

"Love you." Carl said. I gave him one last squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before pulling away and guiding him to where Rick and Lori were silently observing. They led him to the tent so they could tuck him in for the night.

Once I was alone, I was lost at how bad the damage really was. While I saw some bodies when I was hugging Rick, that was maybe only half of how many there actually were. I put my hands over my mouth and began to cry again. I felt someone stand next to me and immediately leaned into the figure, knowing that it was Shane.

"Shhhh," Shane said. "It's over. You're all right."

"What are we going to do?" I asked, pleading in my voice.

"I don't know." he answered honestly after a few moments. "I don't know, baby girl."

After a few moments of hugging me and rocking me back and forth, he suggested, "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

I very adamantly shook my head. I paused for a few moments before saying, "I want to stay close to you and Rick."

Shane nodded, understanding my fears and anxieties. "Okay, if you won't sleep in the tent then why don't you sleep out here and rest over by that big tree so you can still see me and it's out of the way, but close enough so that I can protect you." he said, motioning to a tree that was about 10 yards to the side.

I thought about it for a moment before nodding and going to our tent to get a blanket and a pillow before returning outside. Shane gave me a small, but sad smile as I wrapped the blanket around me and set the pillow behind me against the tree.

I'm pretty positive I woke up screaming, because when I sat up from where I was on the ground, I saw Rick sprinting over.

"Are you okay?" he asked, crouching down to my level.

I shook my head as I started crying, having relived what just happened a few hours ago in my dream.

"Shhh," Rick soothed, pulling me so that I was cradled against him.

"Why weren't you here?" I asked, a tear in my voice.

"What? What do you mean?" Rick asked, looking down at me.

"I mean… you, T-Dog, Daryl, and Glen… if you were here sooner…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say next.

"Then our losses would be greater, because we wouldn't have had the firepower to defend ourselves." Rick said in an almost scolding tone.

"Yeah… you're probably right." I said quietly. "I'm glad you came when you did."

"I just wish I could have gotten back sooner." Rick said, smoothing the hair back from my forehead.

"Wait – did this happen during the attack?" he asked, squinting at my forehead in the moonlight.

"Not exactly." I said.

"How did this happen?" Rick asked, sounding worried.

"Ed -" I trailed off… not wanting to make Rick upset. I pulled away from his arms and sat crossed legged on the ground in front of him.

Rick paused before I noticed his fist clench and then relax again. Yup, Rick was definitely pissed about it.

"Did he hit you?" Rick asked, his voice raising.

"Rick, it doesn't matter anymore. He's dead." I said bluntly. Honestly, I wasn't too disappointed about that loss. "And he didn't hit me… just… threw me at a boulder."

Rick sighed and ran a frustrated hand over his face, his jaw clenched.

"What happened after that?" Rick said.

"Shane may have almost beat him to death when he saw what happened." I said in a low voice.

"Guess it's probably a good thing Shane was there and not me." Rick replied.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because Ed wouldn't have been killed by walkers tonight if I was there. He would have been dead sooner." Rick said, his eyes looking fiercely dangerous.

I didn't know what to say to that, but I was oddly comforted by his words.

"Is that all that happened?" Rick asked.

"Well… Shane had to carry me back to camp because I was too dizzy to even move. And then I slept pretty much all day." I said, making sure that Rick knew every detail so he wouldn't be upset about not finding something out later.

"Probably for the best, I'm sure you needed it." He said, giving me a small smile.

There was a long pause as Rick settled himself against the tree next to me. I wrapped my arms around his arm that was closest to me and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Rick…" I started, not knowing how to say what I was going to say next. "When Shane came and got me from the hospital, I didn't want to leave because there was something in me that knew you were still alive, but you just couldn't wake up. Shane didn't believe me, but I'm glad that I was right."

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all that." Rick said, reaching over and covering one of my small hands with his larger one.

"Don't feel bad, Rick." I said, giving his hand a squeeze, taking a turn in trying to comfort him. "Shane has taken good care of us." And I meant it, too.

"You two have become a lot closer in the past couple of months, haven't you?" Rick asked, smiling at me.

"Yeah… Since you weren't here, Shane was the next one I wanted most. He's the only other one I trusted to take care of me after the apocalypse started." I admitted, not wanting to tell Rick about my trust issues after he got shot.

"It wasn't all great, though. Shane and I really didn't get along until a few days ago, and now it seems like I freak out when he's not in sight because I'm afraid that a walker is going to get to me or something else will happen… like a fist colliding with my face. Even though I've been practicing, I don't trust myself enough to take care of myself. Not anymore. Not after tonight… not after Ed." I said, chocking back another sob.

"I'm glad he was there for you. I'm glad he _still _is." Rick said, wrapping an arm around me to draw me even closer.

Just then Shane came out of the RV and looked our way. When he saw Rick comforting me, he gave me a sympathetic look before going back to whatever he was doing before.

"Me too." I replied. "He's family."

"Yeah." He agreed. "Yeah, he is."

**A/N: You know what to do. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's the next chapter. Thanks to those of you who have followed, favorited, or reviewed! They make my day brighter. **

**Disclaimer: FREAKING. LOVE. SHANE. AND. RICK.**

* * *

Chapter 4

I woke up in the morning back in Shane's tent. Over the rest of the day we buried our dead and argued about whether or not we were going to the CDC. The time came and we decided to go, but not without saying goodbye to Morales and his family who decided to stay behind and take their chances on their own.

This, in my opinion, was almost worse than losing someone because they died, because it just meant that they were probably going to die eventually. On the plus side, you actually got to say goodbye to them.

I rode in the jeep with Shane while Rick, Lori, Carl, Carol, and Sophia rode in the car. It was quiet for the first little while, but I soon spoke up. I took after my mother in that way: if was quiet for too long, I would find something to say.

"I want to thank you, Shane." I said sincerely.

"What for?" He asked, glancing at me and then refocusing on the road in front of him.

"For never giving up on me. For taking care of me like I was your own daughter." I replied. "Sorry I was such a bitch for so long."

Shane chuckled and reached over and took my hand, giving it a squeeze, which I took as my apology being accepted. Before too long we got to the CDC and I cautiously walked close to Shane as we approached the doors.

The smell was nauseating. There were probably hundreds of bodies littering the ground, both people and walkers. I covered my mouth with the front of my shirt and tried to not to pay attention, but it was so strong that it's all you could think about.

Rick started banging on the doors for someone to let us in when walkers started approaching us. Everyone started yelling at him that we need to go because walkers were getting closer, but after he saw the camera move he was even more persistent in trying to get inside.

Shane ran up to him and tried pulling him away, and just as they were about to turn around and run the front doors slid open, and we were temporarily blinded by the light flooding out the doors.

We all paused for a minute before sprinting to the doors. Inside we met Dr. Jenner, the only person left in the CDC. The next 24 hours were wonderful. We ate more in one meal than we had probably in the past week combined, we got to take a hot shower, sleep on a real bed, and just enjoy each others company while forgetting that the whole world went to hell and there probably wasn't many people left.

The next day, Dale noticed a countdown on a digital clock on the wall.

"Vi, what happens at zero?" Rick yelled to the automated computer system.

That answer? Facility wide decontamination. I don't know what that means, but I certainly didn't like the sound of it.

A few of the men went and explored the basement to figure out our fuel situation. What they found was horrifying: we were almost completely out of fuel. Without fuel, we didn't have power. Without power, we can't survive in there.

All of a sudden, alarms started going off. I started to panic, and I could see everyone else was panicking a little bit, too. Carl started crying and he ran to Lori and clung to her while Rick was trying to figure out how to handle the situation.

"Doc, what is going on? Everybody go grab your stuff, now!" Shane yelled, starting to lose his head a little bit. After we all started to run towards our rooms, Dr. Jenner entered a code, locking us in.

"Did you just lock us in?" I heard someone yell.

"You son of a bitch!" Daryl yelled, charging Dr. Jenner. "You locked us in!"

"Shane!" Rick hollered, pointing to Daryl, communicating that Shane needed to stop him, which he did.

"Jenner, open that door. Now." Rick said in a dangerously low tone, walking to where Dr. Jenner was sitting.

"There's no point." Jenner explained. "Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed."

"Well open the damn things!" Daryl yelled.

"That's not something I control… the computers do. I told you, once the front doors close they wouldn't open again, you heard me say that." Jenner said defensively. Rick and Shane shared a look communicating that they need to figure out how to get out, and do it fast.

"It's better this way." Jenner said after a few moments.

"What is?" Rick snapped. "What happens in twenty-eight minutes?"

When Jenner didn't answer, Shane slammed his boot on his chair, and Rick repeated the question again, much louder this time.

"You know what this place is?!" Jenner shrieked. "We protected the public from nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox… stuff that can wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out, **ever!**"

I stared at him with the realization that he was leading up to explaining that this place was going to be destroyed. Obliterated. How that was going to happen… well I wasn't sure yet. Shane took a few steps away from Jenner when he got done yelling that, and I automatically moved closer to him, feeling extremely terrified.

Jenner sat down and spoke again, a little more calmly, but definitely firm. "In the event of a catastrophic power failure, or a terrorist attack, for example, HITs are deployed to prevent any organism from getting out."

"HITs?" Rick asked, taking a few steps closer to Jenner.

"Vi, define." Jenner said to the computer system.

My horror grew as I came to learn that this is the most powerful explosive device known to man apart from a nuclear bomb. It sets the air on fire at a temperature between five and six thousand degrees so that everything is completely destroyed in an instant, without any chance of anything getting out.

My chest felt like it was being squeezed, and I had a hard time catching my breath. I felt very dizzy. Shane walked over to me and pulled me into a hug, trying to comfort me. I could hear his heart beating rapidly under my ear, and I knew that he was just as scared as I was at that moment.

Most of us started crying. The little kids were terrified, even more so than the rest of us. Rick went over and hugged Lori and Carl, as we all knew that we were either going to die, or we needed to figure out a way to get out of there. Fast.

And we did. We ended up having to use a grenade to blow a hole in the wall, but we got out… and not too soon either. When we ran out that hole, we killed the walkers within sight, and full-out sprinted to our vehicles.

Dale and Andrea were the last ones out, and we were all screaming at them to get down when we realized that it was about to get very hot outside. I saw everyone hit the ground, and I momentarily froze, not thinking about what to do… just stared at the CDC, wanting to see if it was true.

I snapped out of my trance quickly though, and laid down as best as I could in the front seat. Shane hopped in the jeep next to me and covered me protectively with his body as we waited for it to explode.

I felt like everything was happening in slow motion. Even though I was probably laying down for a few seconds it felt like hours. The blast was deafening, and the heat that we felt as a result from it was almost unbearable.

And then it started to quiet down, so now all we heard was the crackling of flames and it continued to burn. Slowly, Shane released his hold of me and we both sat up and stared at what used to be the CDC, and was now just a ball of flame, wide-eyed and fearful. I saw Dale help Andrea up off the ground and run into the RV, and with that, we all drove away.

We only drove a few minutes because we stopped to get the remaining fuel from Daryl's pickup truck and Shane's jeep since we had less people again. It would be wasteful to take five cars when we really only needed the RV and the station wagon. Daryl rode his motorcycle, which was fine because it didn't really require a lot of fuel. Shane and I piled into the RV with some of the others, and we started our journey.

It was nice, though. It gave us a chance to wind own from the terrifying past couple of days and just rest for a little while, without fear of walkers getting to us for the moment.

In the RV, I was sitting next to Shane, watching as he took apart his gun and cleaned all the pieces, before putting it back together again.

"Looks complicated." Andrea said.

"Well, the trick is getting all the pieces back in the same place. Other than that, it's not so bad. I can show you how to do it, if you'd like." Shane said, smiling as Andrea handed him her gun.

"Sweet piece." Shane said, commenting on her gun.

It was a gift from her father. She said that he told them that two girls should be able to defend themselves. Smart man.

But then we stopped, because there was a huge pileup of cars blocking the roads. We started weaving in and out of the cars, slowly making our way through, but then the hose in the RV broke again, so it looked like we would have to stop anyways.

Daryl immediately started going through cars, picking out stuff that we would need. T-Dog suggested siphoning more fuel, which we would need. There was certainly enough of that here.

"This place is a graveyard." Lori said. "I don't know how I feel about this."

"It's not like they're using it." I chimed in. "We might as well take what we need."

Shane nodded and said to start going through cars, getting what we needed.

Everyone started walking off in different directions, intent on finding some supplies. I started to walk to the nearest car before Shane caught my arm.

"Stay close." He said quietly. "Always within my sight."

I nodded and just decided to follow him, knowing that I would be safest if I stayed close rather that just in his sight. I still got very worried when Rick or Shane weren't in sight… separation anxiety I guess.

The first thing Shane and I found was a truck filled with water jugs. We laughed in delight as we let the water pour over our skin.

"It's like being baptized!" Shane said, opening his mouth to take a much-needed drink.

Our excitement only lasted for a few minutes before I saw Shane looking off into the distance, a worried expression growing on his face. I looked to see what he was so worried about and that's when I saw them… hundreds of walkers coming in our direction.

Shane grabbed me and pushed me under the water truck and crawled in behind me. I started to whimper a bit.

"Shhh." Shane said as he half-laid on me, trying to make us as small as possible. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and covered my mouth with both of his hands, putting me in a near chokehold.

That's when I started to hear the worst possible sound…the sound of moaning and shuffling of feet. My breath quickened as I panicked, knowing that the chances of making it out alive were very slim. I just prayed that this would work.

Shane tensed as he saw the first pair of feet shuffle past the truck. He tightened his grip even more, and I was suddenly very glad that he was there. If he wasn't, we would certainly all be dead sooner because I know that I would have panicked even more than I already was.

I buried my face in the crook of my arm, not wanting to see what was happening. Shane kept his hand there, though, and I could feel his quickened heart beat on my back.

I don't know how long I was under there. It was probably only a few minutes, but it felt like hours. I had completely zoned out, but snapped back to reality when I felt Shane's grip around my starting to loosen. I dared look up, and we both breathed heavily as it seems that the walkers have passed.

I started to scoot out, but Shane stopped me.

"Wait a minute." He whispered. "There might be a couple stragglers."

We waited probably sixty seconds before I followed him out from under the truck. When we stood, I held on to his arm tightly as we looked around to make sure we were okay. That's when I heard Sophia's scared cries from a distance. I looked up at Shane with a worried expression on my face, and he grabbed my hand, taking off in the direction of her cries, ducking so that we wouldn't be seen if there were any walkers still hanging around.

The rest of us were standing on the side of the highway, watching as Rick disappeared into the woods after Sophia and the walkers that were following her. I wrapped my arms around Shane's waist and waited for Rick to bring her back.

About twenty minutes later, Rick came running back without Sophia. I put a hand over my mouth and watched as Carol ran to him.

"Where is she?" she cried. "Where's my baby?"

"She's not here?" Rick asked, his face growing with horror.

Carol just started sobbing and shook her head. Rick gave Shane a worried expression. Daryl, Glen, Shane, and Rick grabbed a gun and started running back to the woods. I grabbed a handgun that was laying on the ground and ran, too.

"Ally. Wait!" I heard Lori cry.

"I'm going with!" I yelled back, running to catch up.

Rick didn't say anything as I ran up next to the group, but just nodded as we jogged to where I assume was the last place Rick saw her.

"I put her right here." Rick said, pointing to a little nook underneath the bank of the small pond. Daryl found some of her footprints and saw that she indeed took off in the direction of the highway.

"She couldn't have gotten far." Daryl said, following her tracks on the ground.

"Let's spread out." Rick said. He then turned to me. "Stay within sight. You understand?" he said seriously.

I nodded and did as he said, not staying more than a few yards from Rick.

About a half hour later, we heard something.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Sophia!" I yelled.

Nothing.

I tried again.

Still nothing.

After a little while, Rick sent Shane, Glen, and I back to the highway to help calm people in case they were starting to panic. I stayed close as we eventually found our way back to find everyone there in a bit of a panicked state. Shane did everything he could to calm them down, which helped some, but Carol still wouldn't budge from her spot on the side of the highway.

I looked at her with pity as I continued to pick through the cars to see if I could find anything I could use. I found some clean underwear and a few shirts, which always comes in handy since we don't get the luxury of changing all that often.

Dusk came, and Rick and Daryl still haven't come back. I was starting to get worried, but just when I was about to go get Shane and tell him about going to go look for them, they came up the hill empty handed.

They didn't find Sophia.

Carol shook her head and started crying, and Rick went up to her to try to comfort her, telling her that they looked everywhere but couldn't see anymore, so they'll have to start again in the morning.

Carol started yelling all sorts of nonsense at Rick, which is stupid because it's not even his fault. I know that Rick did everything he could to keep Sophia safe, and there's nothing that anyone could say to convince me otherwise.

I know that Rick was having a hard time dealing with this anyways, and Carol definitely wasn't helping. He turned and looked at everyone's solemn face, and decided that he needed to be alone with his thoughts for a while, so he turned and walked away.

I glanced at Shane worriedly, and decided that I was going to go after Rick.

"Rick!" I called after him. He took a few more steps so that we were out of sight and out of ear shot from the others, and then turned to me, showing me that he was willing to listen, but too ashamed of not finding Sophia to make eye contact.

"Rick," I said, stopping so that I was a couple feet in front of him. "It's not your fault."

Rick shook his head, and I knew that he was trying to put the blame on himself. Typical Rick move.

"No." I said firmly. "It's not your fault. You did all you could. Don't listen to her."

Rick finally looked me in the eyes, and I saw him soften a bit.

He pulled me into a hug, and I knew that my words had struck a chord in him. "Thank you." I heard him whisper. I pulled away and gave him my best reassuring smile, even though I was worried about Sophia. Whether we found her or not, I knew that we would be okay.


End file.
